Thursday, June 23, 2011

so this is what happened.

Five am is just to early to tell someone they suck.  It just is.  I worked Saturday for hours and hours on a box of undies that "should" have taken 1hour.  Except that there were 300 pairs, so it took alot longer than that.  I could not move fast enough apparently.  The entire group of us were lectured in front of everyone at 5am.  We were told we needed to be baby sat, and that we all needed partners because we could not work the way we were supposed to.  We were also told that someone else would take our hours and that we would be sent home if we could not do it right.  How about a great big cup of shut the fuck up?  I think I may have said that in my out loud voice.  Not super loud but I am pretty sure I was heard.  So I think I quit.  Or got fired. Or something.
Here is the thing, my manager is 15 years younger than me, and I am just not going to be talked to that way.  Nor am I going to be, not now, not ever.  Wait, maybe if I was working in a hospital and people were killing over because I was not doing things right, but no, its just underwear.  Its just underwear!!!!  REALLY!
I am now looking again and think I have sworn off retail.  I really thought I could just stick it out, but looking back I see a whole heap of bullshit that I had to ignore.  Such as comments like, "You work in the back with us because you are not cute enough to be on the floor."  To this comment I must say that I am not traditionally  pretty.  According to the western standards of beauty, I fall short.  Literally.  I am short, 5 feet on a good day, mixed race, curly hair, brown eyes, muscular, round face...certainly not your average tall, skinny blonde with puffy lips and the perpetual vacant smile.  No offense out there to my blonde friends.....after all you are older than 20!  Life experience in my humble view enhances beauty.  None of that here friends.  I don't have a high pitched voice, a constant smile, and I don't say like with every other word.  So I will concede that.  But for Gods sake I am not a monster!  I am not all deformed and freaky!  And to think I took out my nose ring for this!  Really!~  DAMN!
Don't worry though friends there is more to come, lots more experiences behind the counter to share!

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Uhh, how about a great big cup of shut the f*^k up?

So I think I may have been fired.  Maybe.  Not sure, don't really care to be quiet honest.  I have decided to quit.  Can't do it.  Don't have it in me, done, over it, stick a fork in me, I AM DONE!  More to come, need to rest, having a cow at the moment.

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

To quit or not to quit, that is the question

I am sitting here thinking about the possibility of getting up at o-my god in the morning to go to another shift in Hell.  And so the question is posed.....to quit or not to quit.  If I get up at 5 am, be at work by six, work like a crazy person on meth who just left the donkey show, I will still have only earned $43 dollars after taxes.  If I show up and work really hard I just may get another $20 added on for the week.  If I don't move fast enough I won't.  This sucks.
Most of the time I would say, hell no don't quit, you don't have anything lined up yet...but then I stop and think, I am working ridiculously hard and still my cable is off, my phone is turned off, I have to get my car inspected, have two outstanding tickets on it, late on rent, and bill collectors keep calling, thinking somehow that I am going to pay them.  Get in line bitches!!!!  Take a number!!!!  The Check is in the mail!!!!
Considering all of this I just keep hearing the conversations in my head of "no one in the back ever lasts", "people can't handle all this hard work", and the like.  I almost feel like I am abandoning the troops or something, like I am letting down my fellow wage slaves by not being able to stick it out.  I feel like it is almost a challenge to take as much abuse as I can handle, like I can one up the next employee.  It is almost as if we are in some sort of unspoken contest to see who can be the last one standing.  I think we all take a little too much pride in the amount of bullshit we have to wade through each day.
On the other hand, $40 is $40 bucks, and when you are broke, you are broke and every penny counts.  Or does it?  We all pay a price for everything we do, I get that, but again I am left wondering if the exchange rate is just too high.
Meanwhile, I have had another couple of leads that I have grabbed ahold of, and so am hoping to hear from them soon.
Wish me luck, give me advice, or just buy me another drink.

Saturday, June 18, 2011

HOLY SHIT!!!

Okay so, after a ridiculously long week and a super short one the week before my pay check came to a grand total of $219.03 after taxes.  HOLY SHIT!  I think I am heading down to Mexico for the donkey show and here's why....
1.  I am getting screwed anyway so why not actually get paid for it?
2.  No heavy lifting, as I understand it they lift you!
3.  The only body fluids to clean up will be my own!
4.  I hear this job (and others like it) provide health checks and free clinic visits!
5.  No more 4:30am shifts, the show closes at 12:00am!
6.  Lots of positive feedback, bonuses and paid days off!
7.  The only people yelling at you to perform with more of a sense of urgency are actually paying you!!
Its either this or meth, its kind of a toss up at the moment.  I realize that my pay checks are a week behind, but next week I am scheduled for a grand total of 8 hours!!!  WOW!  REALLY!  A WHOLE 8 HOURS???
You either get worked to death four days in a row or get no hours at all.  Today was not a good day.  Between the creepy old dude with his 4 female escorts running around the store in underwear and the ridiculous teenagers in barely enough clothing, I am blessed to even have my sight at all!  Oh and whats with the screaming kids??  HOLY SHIT!!!
I work at an outdoor mall and this location happens to have quiet a few attractions for the family.  However this store should not be one of them.  But day in and day out I get to pull kids out of the windows, clean up their gross, sticky candy from off the floor and listen to the scream, whine, and cry.  Today was especially fun as children got in the drawers and made a complete disaster out of four hours work.  Really?  Yes really.
The back room right now is stocked so full that there is literally no room to turn around.  Needless to say the women that work in the back room are getting to know each other VERY well.  You honestly can't turn around without bumping into breasts or butts.  For some this may sound like heaven, but after a few hours it just gets weird.  At first its funny.  Then it's really funny, and then it sort of spirals out of control into all out punch drunk silliness.  We have actually been told to keep our laughter down so as not to give the customers the "wrong idea".  Then it gets kind of weird.  Not weird bad, just weird.  I think at this point I can identify my co-workers by their breasts rubbing against my back.....okay that really is weird.  Oh well, honesty is on the menu today and this bitch is serving it up pipping hot!
Speaking of honesty, if one more person tells me to move faster I just may kill them.  No, I think I actually will kill them.  AND PLEASE STOP SENDING YOUR LITTLE SPIES TO CHECK ON MY PROGRESS!!!!  Damn, I am not stupid, I know what "How's it coming?" really means.  It means corporate is putting shit tons of pressure on me to get hours down and you need to work yourself out of hours so just hurry up already!!!!
In short...HOLY SHIT!

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

4:30am...yes I really got home at 4:30am!!!!

So as many of you know, I have been working all night recently.  Why...you may ask...well because the store that I work for is have a huge sale and only has two of these a year.  Tons of older colors and designs are half off which is a good deal and the quality of the merchandise is good too.  However I started looking into where these items are made and most are made in China or Indonesia.  I can pretty much guarantee that the workers who make these items that we sell for around $50 a piece are making about three dollars a day.  Such is retail right?  I know I am making $9 an hour so in order for me to afford these items even with my "discount", I still need to work 4 and 1/2 hours to buy one.  Even then, I can't actually afford one as I need to eat and pay rent and all....But then I was thinking about the people who make them and how much they would have to work to pay for even one and it just about killed me.  All around ridiculous bullshit.

Moving on, I found out today that a woman who works for this store is considered a manager but does not have the full title yet because her promotion did not kick in in time for the corporate turn over and therefore she does not actually exist as a manager even though she has been promised a raise, she has yet to see it or the benefits package other managers get.  Basically she works for $9 an hour with all the responsibilities and non of the perks a manager gets.  That is so wrong.  I asked her why she stays and she said that basically it is so hard to find a job right now that she has very little choice.  Oh SHIT!!!  That does not bode well for me!

Not only did she work from 4pm to 4am with me, but she also worked an additional 5 hours that day giving her a 17 hour day.  I worked a 12 and 1/2 hour day, but am scheduled so that I can't pick up more than 40 hours a week so I can not collect overtime.  However she can and I hope she does!  Maybe all this kind of bullshit is why our store manager just walked out this week....hmmmm...

Ok, back to me!  I worked from 4pm to 2:30 am Sunday and then on Monday 4pm to 4:15am.  I almost walked out.  I was so exhausted I could not even see straight.  Working on your feet that long, moving as fast as you can leads to injury.  On Sunday night an employee dropped a 50lbs box on her foot and hobbled to the workforce services clinic.  Another hit her head on shelving and had to sit down but wanted to tough our her shift anyway.  And then there is me.  A glass shelf shattered while I was right next to it, it fell and glass popped up and cut my forehead and chest.  I bled for quiet a while and will probably have a scar on my head and one big one on my chest.  I had to clean up the mess as soon as I stopped bleeding.  At that point an employee dropped a body form on my foot, leaving a massive bruise, and I have tons of bruises up and down my arms and legs from moving store fixtures.  At this point, I can not even lift my right arm.  That is saying something because I am quiet fit and stronger than most women if the truth be told.  I became so exhausted at one point during this shift that my hands went numb and so did several other employees.  We all complained about back and foot pain and were told that we would stay until it was done.  We had what we call a last man standing shift.  This means that no matter what time you are scheduled until, you have to work until its finished or risk a write up or worse.  In fact one of the managers did not even have time to go to sleep that night, she left after four, went home, showered and went back to work to open early for this sale.  People seem to think that retail stores have "people" that do all this for us....nope we don't.  I am still so sore its not even funny.

Today friends, was a day from hell.  Customers were ripping through the store like a pack of wild dogs leaving a frilly, lacie, silky carnage in their wake.  They seem to think that because things are on sale, they can do what ever they want when ever they want to do it.  This means they drop merchandise on the floor, through it under sales bins and racks, put it on the wrong side of the store, drop it over store fixtures or shove it in drawers.  Today I followed one customer around for more than 15 minutes picking up all the items that she dropped or threw where ever she felt like it.  It makes me wonder if these inconsiderate women feel so marginalized in life that they exert power where ever they can.  They do whatever they want with out a acre or concern for the low wage workers that have to clean up after them.  These are the same workers who stay until 4am to ensure she has what she wants, when ever she wants it.  To say its not right is a massive understatement.  They leave things falling off hangers, sitting on the floor and tossed where ever they feel like it in the moment.  It takes a huge amount of time and energy to clean up after these women and makes the worker feel like "the help"  which in all actuality we are.

For example, today I had to clean up someones spilled drink, I was handed USED underwear and asked to do a return on them, I put back 100's of items and cleaned up other peoples garbage and used food wrappers.  I did not even have to clean bathrooms today or mop floors so all in all I got off easy.  I still have to take all the garbage out, which requires several trips and a cart...and its so gross its not even funny.  Last week a woman left her bloody underwear in the changing room.  Who does she think she is?  ARE YOU KIDDING ME????  GROSS!  Yep, I had to clean it up.  I had gloves but still, I felt the need for a decontamination shower ala "Silkwood"  after.  In my time in retail I have cleaned up, blood, feces, urine, vomit, food, food wrappers, spilled drinks, cups, and condoms.  Yesterday I got to damage out a piece of clothing that some man had uh...well....spanked his monkey into during store hours and he left this particular item on the hanger.  Thanks buddy.  All for $9 an hour.  And for some its minimum wage for gods sake!!!
I am reminded of this difference in pay regularly.

They talk alot about safety being super important in this company.  I beg to differ.  I have never felt safe in the back room where I work and am often asked to do things that require me to climb on furniture, move items that weigh more than I do, lean ladders against glass windows and the list goes on and on.  In fact right now in the back room a person can not even walk a straight line and you have to step over boxes and all types of items all over the floor and there is no where to put any of these items away.  I have items fall on me, tip over on me and there are lots of  "war stories" that employees brag about.  It seems getting injured is a badge of honor at work, as is "sticking out" last man standing shifts.  There is a huge sense of pride among many of the employees.  They take great pride in being able to get through all this nonsense.  I think it makes things easier for us/them to get through the day.  To take stock of all you have been through is a great coping skill.  But should we really need this skill to sell underwear?  So much stress, trauma and injury for underwear.  Really?
I am seriously considering going naked everywhere.  I think I hate bra's and panties.  And really at this point who can blame me?

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Some people just suck at retail.

I heard from a friend that my blog has changed her mind about the way she behaves in stores.  She is now much less likely to drop merchandise where ever she pleases and that is a very good thing.  However, thinking on my own experience in retail hell, I wanted to offer some observations on those who just suck at this job.

I work with a girl, yes literally an 18 year old girl whose biggest goal in life is to become an underwear model.  No I am not kidding.  That is all she wants to do and thinks that this particular store is a great place to start.  Have I mentioned in all honesty that she is kind of well....uh...dumb?  So dumb in fact that she struggles to alphabetize stock in the store room.  During our training, which I was so lucky to have with her, she told me she wants us all to be best friends.  In fact, she gave us a little taste of her next beauty pageant speech about how....and I quote...."How like, diversity is so super important, because like everyone can all be friends and that is like so important because then we can have like world peace."  No I am not kidding!  Sometimes when she speaks I like to count how many times she uses the word "like".  Its a fun way to divert attention away from the fact that she is speaking at all.  I know its a little mean, but I am here to tell the truth and the truth is not always kind.

Customer service skills are not her strong point, in fact I have had to try to deal with many of her angry customers.  She often answers questions with "I don't know" or "Um, I am not sure." Which you know when shopping just pisses you off.  It is in fact her job to know.  And because she is "cute" she is on the sales floor, chatting with customers, and those of us who are not as "cute" are in the back actually working.  No, I am not kidding about that either.  I have in fact been told that I am not cute enough to be on the floor.  So, as I am stocking the floor, she tells me to go get her something from the back, and then proceeds to tell the customer, "Oh she will get it, she is good at it"....AND THEN.....the customer who was asking her for help gets mad at me because she gave her the wrong size and I did not move fast enough for her.  REALLY???  Forgive me ever perfect customer that I don't like being told by an 18 year old what to do and that I did not jump and run to the back for your ever important size.  I did in fact drop what I was doing to get this persons item, its just that she was mad at her, and so she yelled at me because she was getting bad service.

I am great with customers, but not cute enough.  Maybe I am too old for this.  So let it be said that I know lots of people are not cut out for this kind of job, slavery is not for everyone.

Thursday, June 2, 2011

hey..hey..got any advil? Come on man...just one?

I am getting ready to go to work today and am reminding myself to pack the pain killers.  In fact, the women that I work with have a secret society of advil and diet coke addicts.  Who ever has the pain meds. gets the least crappy job.  Think of it like cigarettes in prison.  You may wonder why so many of us need pain killers to get through the day.  Well, here goes.

Yesterday I climbed a ladder 15 times.  Yes I counted.  I was on my feet for 9 hours straight with one 15 minute break.  I dropped a box on my foot, tripped over a clothing rack and lifted 40 pounds over my head about 15 times..(hence the ladder trips).  As previously mentioned, I have seen some nasty injuries in retail.  Everyday someone gets sensor pin stuck through their finger at the very least.  Its kind of a contest to see who can get out unscathed.

Headaches are super common from doing such detail oriented work, and from being told to "move faster" about every three minutes.  Yes, I checked.  Also from having to do the same things over and over because a manager can not decide where she wants certain things and then gets into a power struggle with other managers who disagree and having to move the entire floor around three times in three days just to see who has the bigger ovaries.  Guess who gets to move it?  Yes, its us, the pawns in this ovary contest that is retail in womens fashion.

There is also the sugar angle...talk about prison favors!  Who ever brings in the sugar, in any form really, is the queen bee for the day.  I have come to not only understand the sugar addiction in retail, but to embrace it, to love it, to become one with it.  It's not like we are not working off the calories and it keeps us moving and hyper.  All the better to make your box times with my dear.  We need to stay positive, happy, upbeat, moving quickly, with a sense of urgency and direction...if sugar won't cut it.....I may have to start the meth as before mentioned.

So today I am armed with a baggie of advil, a box of cookies and the knowledge that today...I am a Goddess!